hmph.

Well, I don't know what to say diet-wise.
Or should I say health-wise?

Those of you who have been reading my blog know that I'm currently suffering from a stomach ulcer, but am I?
I have this gnawing feeling (no pun intended!) that it's really my gallbladder.
When I first got ill, that was first suspected, there was no doubt in the doctor or anyones mind that it was anything else-I had bile turn up in my urine, when they poked my tummy in all the different areas and did scans, the pain was (and still is) coming from the exact location of the gallbladder- though the scan showed I have a few small stones, they said it wouldn't cause major pain/problems and I'm now awaiting an endoscopy to see whether it's an ulcer or not.
My health this week has been so bad, I just don't know how much more of this I can take! That sounds so pathetic, it's only been a few months, but I'm sick of the chronic diarrhea (containing yellow bile) the waking up in the middle of the night to be sick, no matter what I've eaten, being absent from my class..
Ugh. But it's just this week that it's mainly got to me-I usually can handle all the symptoms in the daytime but now I'm barely getting a few hours sleep every night-I'll sleep a few hours when I first get to sleep and then I wake up and have to be sick and end up on the bathroom floor a few hours before nodding off from exhaustion.
Anywho, that being said luckily I have now started my holidays.

Diet-wise, as you would imagine I haven't been eating much as right now it's hard to keep stuff down and I suffer from nausea alot, but I still make sure I'm eating.
For lunch I had a chicken sandwich and for dinner I had a chicken salad-I know I'm not eating enough at the moment but hopefully it's just temporary.
Speaking of food, I know many of us have emotional attatchments to food/eating, I know I do! but this is the first time I've felt a certain emotion towards food, and that's fear.
Over food I've felt guilt, anger, obsession, frustration, elation and comfort but now I'm feeling fear because of being sick all the time lately.
Part of me has cut down on my food and drinking because I'm afraid of throwing up, and running to the toilet constantly.
But from this moment forward I've got to start drinking enough water! It's so important.

Sorry for the moan, hopefully things will get better! And thankyou to all those following me, I really appreciate it. <3

Change.

So here are my medical/diet facts! hehe.

I need to lose about 80 pounds, and this needs to be a lifestyle change.
I don't feel like revealing how much I weigh at the moment, but I eventually will :)
I used to look at calories alot, but at the moment I'm just going to eat healthy and sensibly, because I have a tendency to get a bit obsessed over numbers and things.
I'm also (as I've mentioned in a previous post) currently suffering from a stomach ulcer which means I'm restricted in what I can eat.
My ulcer has actually got worse in the last few days, I was home alone yesterday and seriously thought about who I could ring to take me to the emergency room as I had felt pain like that the previous three times that I was put on morphine.
But that's just it, I remembered that the doctors have said to me "Unless you're vomiting blood, it's not really an emergency" so I just stayed in bed.
Today I still felt a bit off but when I went to the toilet I noticed my, erm, 'movement' was black which is usually a sign of internal bleeding so this morning I saw the doctor who did a few rather uncomfortable tests on me lol, and they have brought my gastroscopy forward which is good.
How my diet should be changes with every resource I check out, I've had doctors tell me to 'just eat sensibly' and I've had doctors tell me to not make any changes to my diet, even though I wasn't eating healthy at the time!
But I know personally that I react to some foods, for instance items with seeds in them make me very ill, so I'm going to follow the following guidelines as best I can;

· Chew your food thoroughly and eat slowly and relaxed
· Sit up while eating and after eating
· Try to eat smaller servings and spread meals throughout the day; have for example four fixed mealtimes every day

What to avoid:

· Spicy food/ spices
· NSAIDs, like ibuprofen
· Aspirin
· Snacking throughout the day (prevents acid production)
· Eating just before bedtime
· Caffeine (also decaffeinated coffee!) and carbonated drinks
· Chocolate
· Milk (promotes acid production)
· Fatty foods
· Citrus Fruits and Juices, tomato products
· Overeating and hunger
· Raw and gas producing vegetables
· Berries, figs, nuts and seeds
· Desserts

The doctor has told me that my use of a certain medication basically gave me the ulcer-it's Diclofenac for period pain and I was on it so much he was suprised I didn't 'burnt a hole in my stomach'! The trouble is I have mine right now, and because of the ulcer situation deteriorating over the last little while, I'm only allowed to take paracetamol which for me is like taking nothing at all-sadly I only feel a difference with the strong stuff.
So today my food was as follows

-I woke up with stomach pain (as usual) but remembered that breakfast is important-I definitely will get around to trying out some of your breakfast ideas but today I just had a banana.

-I had a late lunch, I need to avoid grainy breads etc, so I had half a can of Chop chop! Chicken (scroll down) with a bit of lettuce and low fat cheese in a pita bread which filled me up quite well.



Onto Chop chop! chicken, I love this stuff! I didn't know it existed until I was flicking through a magazine while on vacation, and I got very excited lol.
Chunky Tuna is still my favourite sandwich filling but this is absolutely second, you can get it flavoured with sea salt, or smoked but my favourite is with lite mayo-when I first tried it out I was a bit disappointed that half the can was one serving, but it's actually so compressed in there that it's a decent amount when you take it out.
Here's a bit more about it; www.daviesfoods.co.nz/Chop-Chop-Chicken.html

-I started feeling a bit peckish about an hour ago, so I had a few bites of a delicious grainy almond bar but after starting it I realised it could upset my ulcer, so I ate half a pear instead.

Dinner tonight is just chops, some rice and healthy pasta. Hurrah for eating well! and next Monday I will weigh in.

Celebration.

I thought I would post today, a few before and after shots.
Let's make it clear, I still have a way to go! I need to lose about 80 pounds or so.
I know alot of my online friends would be scratching their heads over that number because my face is slim compared to the rest of me and they only see me from the neck up! But there we have it. Though it feels like a big number, I'm just going to take it a step at a time. I'll get there.
So for now these are only face shots but after losing about 17 pounds I'm quite happy and looking back at this first photo makes me realise how far I've come already.
For me I notice that my face now has a bit more definition and my skins got clearer actually!





It's only around 2 in the afternoon so not too much to report food-wise, I slept in late and spent a few hours shopping with Mum and went to a cafe-had a yummy chicken wrap though sometimes I'm a bit wary about how many calories are actually in some things with all their dressings etc! And just had a bottle of water with it.
It's so odd, I'm still getting used to drinking water and not having any fizzy because it irritates my stomach ulcer, but I'm guessing it's helping clear my skin too :)